Overture

The Ladies:
Anne of Green Gables, never change, We like you just this way.
Anne of Green Gables, sweet and strange, stay as you are today.
Though blossoms fade and friends must part,
Old grow the songs we sung.
Anne of Green Gables, in my hearts, You are forever young.

Great Workers for the Cause

The Ladies:
Every Tuesday afternoon, We take up our positions in the rummage brigade of
the ladies? aid to the board of Foreign Missions.
All the ladies of Avonlea are glad to help the heathen. To improve the lot
of the Hottentots comes as natural to us as breathin? As natural to us as
breathin’

We are great workers for the cause, willing helpers in the mission field.
We do everything we can do,
We send afghans to the Hindu,
We are great workers for the cause!

We are collection undershirts and drawers, for to keep the naked pagans
warm
When your children get to big we send their undies to a Pigmy,
We are all great workers for the cause.

Where is Matthew Going?

The Ladies:
Where is Matthew going and why is he going there? Matthew Cuthbert never,
never goes anywhere. He’s wearing his clean white collar. He’s wearing his
store bought suit.
Let’s get us a rig and foller
Don’t be silly
Don’t be sassy
Don’t be cute

Where do you suppose he’s going? He’s hitched up his Sunday steed. He
should be home a sowing, sowing turnip seed. It must be a fearful task
then, It must be something bad.

Why don’t we all go and ask then?
Are you balmy?
Are you batty?
Are you mad?

If it was bad, he’ drive much faster, if i’ was nuthin? he’ drive slow.
I’d better go ask his sister,
Marilla’ be sure to know. You’d better go ask Marilla, You better go pay a
call
I’ll borrow a drop of vanilla and act sort of dumb and all
You can talk about the weather, then ask her all at once!
Why don’t we all go together?
We’re no snoopers! We’re no gossips! Oh you dunce!

Our meeting can continue, now we’re found out just where, where that
Matthew’s going and why he’s going there!!

Anne:
Once I though I’d like to be
A blossom growing on a tree
White and pink and lazy as can be.
But I’d be king just in the spring
So now I think it over
Gee! I’m glad I’m no one else but me.

If you sit around and find the world is gloomy
And it isn’t just your cup of tea
It’s easy to imagine that’s it’s rose-in-bloomy
You can think the things you want to be.

So when all is said and done
Imagining’s a lot of fun
But when there are battles to be won
Be what you are it’s best by far
And soon you’ll be in clover
Gee! I’m glad I’m no one else but me!

(speaking)
Mr. Cuthbert! You’re roads! They’re red!

Matthew: Why yes!

Anne: Red hair and freckles have been my lifelong sorrow. But why are your roads red?

Matthew: Well now…I remeber a fellow telling me once it was the iron in the soil getting rusty. But I don’t suppose he could have meant it.

Anne (singing):
D’you suppose that it could be
The wounds of tragic destiny
Dripping from a bloodstained family tree?
An evil spell that did compel
The founders of this island
To meet their doom and perish horribly?

Picture now the vicious strife that started ragine
Way back in the olden days of yoke!
(It’s) Family in (with) family in feuds engaging
Drenching all your local soil with gore.

There as far as I can see
I’ve just cleared up the mystery
Of why your roads are red perpetually!

Matthew (singing)
The answer’s found not in the ground…
In your imagination
(spoken) : Gee up Pearl!

Anne:
Gee! I’m glad I’m no one else
Gee! I’m glad I’m no one else
Gee! I’m glad I’m no one else but me!

Marilla: We clearly requested a boy!
Matthew: A boy’s what we wanted, I guess.
Anne: I guess that a girl’s not so bad.
Marilla: So badly we needed a boy. We clearly requested a boy
Anne: A boy’s what they wanted I guess
Matthew: I guess that a girl’s not so bad
Marilla: So badly we needed a boy
Anne: A boy could help out on the farm
Matthew: The farm could look after itself.
Anne: It’s selfish to think o’ my self!
Marilla: Myself I am partial to boys.
Anne/Matthew: Boys! Boys!

Matthew: A girl could help Marilla round the house, A girl could bring
alfalfa to the cows.
Marilla: A boy can milk and carry in the pail,
Anne: Boys are made of snails, and puppy dog’s tails!
Marilla: A boy can plough, a boy can hay or hoe, a girl can only sit and
knit and dew
Matthew: A boy is rough, but girls are still as mice,
Anne: Girls are made of spice, Oh, won’t they think twice? She hates me
because I’m a girl.
Matthew: A girl is alright I declare.

Marilla: I declare that she’d have to go back, Go Back!
Anne: Go Back! Go Back!
Marilla: We clearly requested
Anne: Like all of the rest did
Matthew: It can’t be contested.
All: We clearly requested a boy.

Anne:
I’m the Lady Cordelia de Montmorency
Abducted by gypsies when I was three…

Marilla (spoken):
Anne!

Anne (spoken):
My name is Anne Shirley. Anne with an “E.”

Mrs Blewett (spoken):
That’s better; just the facts.

Mrs Spencer (spoken):
Tell her where you were born and who your folks were.

Anne (singing):
I was born in a palace in Old Vienna,
Danubian waltzes my lullabies:
My father was Johann with great moustaches,
My mother, Maria, with em’rald eyes.

Mrs Blewett (spoken):
Where did you say you were born?

Anne:
My dear parents were rich and aristrocratic
With ten maids and butlers to bring you tea:
And we’d ride in a carriage with footmen on it
And all of them curtsied and bowed to me!

Marilla (spoken):
That’s enough child!

Anne:
If you’re wondering how I got here
I was kidnapped by this buccaneer,
Who took me to France
And taught me to dance
In his gypsy hideout in Tangier!

(She starts a wild gypsy dance around the room, creating havoc with washing and finally ending on top of the table doing a fandago. Everyone is aghast)

Anne:
I’m the Lady Cordelia de Montmorency
Abducted by gypsies when I was three-

Mrs Blewett, Mrs Spencer, and Marilla:
The facts, the facts, the facts,
The plain simple homely unembroidered facts!

Matthew: Nevermind how folks talk
Let them all strut and squawk
When they criticize just pass them by.
If they do carp at you
Don’t get upset,
Fuss, fume or fret, or get indegestion
Critics can’t bother me
‘Cause I tell them I agree,
When they’re finding fault I dont deny…
You can do it, if you try
You won’t rue it, be like I,
I keep happy eating humble pie.

Anne and Matthew:
Humble pie
Humble pie
we can eat it you and I
Though the world around us may be proud.

Matthew:
Nevermind, you will find
They have no fight,

Anne:
If you’re polite

Matthew:
That’s right!

Anne:
And answer their questions,
With a smile all the while,

Anne and Matthew:
Try to walk the second mile
Matthew:
Turn the other cheek against the crowd
You can do it , just you try it,
Why not try my steady diet,

Anne and Matthew:
We’ll be happy eating humble pie!

(dance)

Matthew:
You can do it, just you try it
Why not try my steady diet,

Anne and Matthew:
We’ll be happy eating humble pie!

Anne:
“Mrs Lynde, Oh Mrs Lynde,
You have been wronged and I have sinned.
My very soul is so chagrined,
I acted so undisciplined!
I should have laughed, I should have grinned,
I should have been more thicker-skinned,
Forgive me please, my hopes are pinned
On Mrs Lynde

My punishment was necessary…
Upstairs just now in solitary…
I have a temper which is scary…
I know I have and I’ll be wary…
You’ll find my conduct salutary…

I don’t deserve the human race,
Just make my headstone commonplace
And print my name in lower case,
Without an “e”…just leave a space…
Please Mrs Lynde, your rage rescind…
Please Mrs Lynde, I know I’ve sinned…
Please Mrs Lynde, I’m out of wind!
Please….Mrs….Lynde!”

(Boys and Girls)
All:
Think of the homework! Gotta be done!
Think of the spelling bee … that’s fun!
Think of th ‘rithmetic on the slate!
Think about recess … can’t wait!
School again!
School again!
School again!

Moody:
Nix, nix, it’s old man Phillips!

(Everyone freezes)

All:
Good morning, Mr Phillips!

All:
School again!
School again!
School again!

Dance sequence.

Gilbert:
Wond’rin
All at once I’m wondr’n
What its like to grow up
And have somewone show up
Who’ll be
Awful nice and you’ll be
Such a silly fool she’ll
Never look your way

Wondr’n
Now they’ll all be wonderin
And they’ll gab like parrots
‘Cause I called her carrots

Wondr’n
What it was that hit me
And blundr’n
Like I might be wondr’n
If she might be wonder’n
About me this way

Wondr’n
What it was that hit me
And blundr’n
Like I might be wondr’n
If she might be wondr’n
About me this way

Josie: Did you hear? Did you hear?
Mrs. Pye: Tell me ev’ry thing, my dear, And I promise you I’ll never tell a soul.
(Josie whispers)
Mrs. Pye: Why, there ought to be a law!
Josie: That’s exactly what I saw!
Mrs. Pye: She took the slate and suddenly went berserk!
Josie: Cross my heart, hope to die: Have I ever told a lie?
Mrs. Pye: She’s aterror, she’s a tartar, she’s a turk!

Mrs. Pye (to Mrs. Barry): Did you hear? Did you hear?
Mrs. Barry: Tell me ev’rything, my dear, And I promise you I’ll never tell a soul.
( Mrs. Pye whispers)
Mrs. Barry: I would thrash her when she’s caught!
Mrs. Pye: That’s exactly what I thought!
Mrs. Pye: you say the doctor had to take a stitch?
Josie: Three or four, maybe more
Mrs. Pye: Iwas watching from the door
Mrs. Barry: She’s a monster, she’s a fury, she’s a witch!
Josie: She has set her cap for Gilbert Blythe, It’s as plain can be, But if she wants him she will have to deal with me!

Mrs. Barry: Did you hear? Did you hear?
Lucille (the store clerk): Tell me ev’ry-thing, my dear, You can trust me, and you know my lips are sealed.
Lucille: (To Farmer and Mailman) Did you hear? Did you hear?
Farmer and Mailman: Tell us ev’ry-thing my dear, And we promise it will never be revealed.
Lucille: They should put the girl away,
Mrs. Barry: That’s exactly what I say.
Mailman: You mean she went and split his skull in two?
Josie: I was there, and I swear there was blood just ev’rywhere
Mrs. Barry: She’s a vixen
Mrs. Pye: She’s a hussy
Mrs. Lynde (entering): Who?
Josie: We don’t want her kind in Avonlea, And I hope she leaves tonight. If they expel her, Then I’ll tell her, Serves you right!

Dialogue

Mrs. Lynde: Did you hear? Did you hear?
Marilla: I will never fear, You always have a bit of news.
Mrs. Lynde: Did you hear? Did you hear?
Marilla: Tell me ev’rything my dear.
Background: Well I never, did you ever? I suppose she thinks she’s clever. He’ll be marked for life with such an awful bruise!
Marilla: In the schoolroom? Split his head?
Josie: I think Gilbert’s good as dead!
Marilla: He was took by motor car to Cahrlottetown?
All: She’s a piece of Satan’s finest handiwork! She’s a vixen!
Mrs. Pye: She’s a hussy!
Lucille: She’s a terror!
Mrs. Barry: She’s a tartar!
Josie: We don’t want her kind in Avonlea!
All: Terrible tempered Turk!

Anne: Oh Diana! I can’t wait till we get to the icecream!

Diana: Anne! You’ll love it!

Ice cream
is anything more delectable
Than Ice Cream
Why even the most respectable
Eat Ice Cream
It’s wonderful on a summer’s afternoon,
In June
Ice Cream
The recipes something serious
but Ice Cream!
M akes everyone so delirious
that Ice Cream
It’s certainly worth the trouble that it takes

Anne: What does it take Diana?

Diana:
It takes a tin pail, pack it with some ice,
Rock salt, sprinkle it on twice
A big spoon, to see if it tastes nice!

Anne: You got me a quiver, i’m starting to shiver for

Chorus:
Ice Cream
the mixing is most enjoyable
of Ice Cream
and no one is un-employable
in our scheme
you’ve gotta keep on the double till its set
you bet!

Ladies:
Chill mix, cover it up tight
turn crank

Josie: Can’t you do it right?

Diana: Well you help!

All:
This is no time to fight!
Keep all of the churning and soon we’ll be turning out
Ice Cream
Is out of this world for tastiness
But Ice Cream
Can never be made with hastiness
So our dream
Is bound to be just a little overdue
How true!!

Minister: (spoken) Everybody ready for the three-legged race?

***

Gilbert: (spoken) Here you are, Miss Shirley, your first taste of ice cr….

(Josie trips Gilbert in his dash towards Anne and the ice cream cone lands square in Anne’s face. Anne is furious)

Anne: (spoken) Gilbert Blythe! I’ll…I’ll…I…I…

(suddenly her taste buds are aware of a new sensation. She sings)

Ice…cream…
It’s marvellous and mysterious,
Ice Cream

(Gilbert, embarassed stomps off left, leaving Anne torn between following Gilbert and the new found delight of ice cream)

All: Ice….Cream….
It’s wonderful on a summer’s afternoon in June
Ice Cream!
Ice Cream!!!

II. Felvon�s:

Gilbert:
Why ain’t it always summer?
I could sleep late,
Stay up till midnight catchin’
Dew worms for bait.
Now I’ll be combed and curried
And worried again,
Who wants to put their shoes on?
Not me, my friend!

Josie:
I grew a whole inch bigger!

Moody:
I lost a wisdom tooth!

Anne:
I took a big umbrella
And fell off our roof!

Diana:
I had a taste of high life
In Charlottetown!
They have electric lights there
That never burn down!
I saw the lights on Queen Street
A keen street for clothes
And I had a cherry phosphate
That went up my nose!

Tillie, Tommy, and Gertie:
We found a gorgeous seashell!

Ruby and Moody:
We found some licorice root!

Charlie:
I found the hired girl swimmin’
In her birthday suit!

All:
Where did the summer go to?
We had such fun!
Now we go back to Ceasar
And Attila the Hun.
I’m sure that all this Latin
Will flatten my head:
Sic transit gloria mundi
Summertime….summertime…summertime…
Who wants to put their shoes on?
No me, my friend!

Gilbert:
Wond’rin
All at once I’m wondr’n
What its like to grow up
And have somewone show up
Who’ll be
Awful nice and you’ll be
Such a silly fool she’ll
Never look your way

Wondr’n
Now they’ll all be wonderin
And they’ll gab like parrots
‘Cause I called her carrots

Wondr’n
What it was that hit me
And blundr’n
Like I might be wondr’n
If she might be wonder’n
About me this way

Wondr’n
What it was that hit me
And blundr’n
Like I might be wondr’n
If she might be wondr’n
About me this way

Anne:
Kindred spirits
Just you and me , ever to be
Anne and Diana:
Kindred Spirits!

Anne: Sharing our joys

Diana: Even the boys!

Anne: We must solemnly swear,

Diana:
Swearings a sin!
(Giggles) Shall we begin!

Anne and Diana:
Now we’re
Kindred Spirits

Anne: Loyal and true

Diana: Truer than blue

Anne and Diana:
All our life through, we two.
Like a fly sticks to glue

Diana: We’ll stick together

Anne: Just me and you.

Diana: Just you and me.

Anne: Just you and I

Diana:
That’s how it must be,
Now we’re (Anne and Diana) kindred spirits
Faithful and true,

Anne: Like an old shoe,

Anne and Diana: All our life through, we two.

Anne and Diana: Kindred Spirits
Anne: Having one aim
Diana: Thanking the same.
Both: Kindred Spirits
Diana: Miss Stacy and me,
Anne: Now we are three.
Finding one bosm friend
May lead to other friends in the end.

(Alternative to “The Words”)

Matthew:
I can get up phrases just as good as any poet,
Then I stumble on my tongue and – and – and — I throw it!
Can’t I say the things I mean?
Can’t I say the things inside me?
What a day
When I say my say.

I can make up fancy talk just like a great orator,
When I’m staring straight into the eye of a potater!
But with people I’m struck dumb.
But with people I go speechless!
What a day
When I say my say!

Though I’ve never taken courses
I know how to sweet talk horses
You can bet they know when I holler Whoaaaa!
I can chat wit heifers and it’s never a disaster
I can facee a chicken and we really know who’s master!
And they don’t talk back at me,
I can get a word in edgewise.
What a day When I say my say!

Dialogue

In the pigsty I’m a winner
When I call the sows to dinner
I don’t beat a drm
When I call

All my life I’ve stood around while women chitter chatter.
Now the time has come to take a stand upon the matter,
And I’m going to speak my mind,
And I swear I won’t be tongue-tied!
What a day! What a thing!
Bells will ding, dong, ding, what a day
When I say my
What a day When I say my say!

Earl:
I seen a harness,
itwas offer’d for sale,
In your brand new catalogue.

Cecil:
It pulls at your mouth
And fits under your tail
And gives you a real smart jog!

Mrs. MacPherson:
You got a garment
That’s offer’d for sale,
In the new Spring Almanac?

Mrs. Pye:
It takes all the flesh
That you have in front
And movies it around in back!

Lucilla:
What can I do for you today?

Mrs. MacPherson:
Have —

Dialogue

Lucilla:
Step over here,
I’m at your service,
What can I do for you?

Matthew (spoken)
Well… I… I…

Lucilla:
Please don’t be nervous
I’ve nothing else to do!

Matthew:
I was some puff..puff…

(Lucila: Puff-puff?
Cecil: How’s that again, Matthew?)

Matthew:
Have you got puff-puff

(Karl: Pipe tobacco!)

Lucilla:
I’ll wrap a tin of “Old Chum.”

Matthew:
No, I want P… P… P…

(Mrs. Pye: Paraffin Oil!)

Lucilla:
Coming right up — one drum!

Matthew:
Have you got puff puff

(Cecil: Paris perfume?)

Lucilla:
Right now we’re all out of stock

Matthew:
No! I want P… P… P…

(Mrs. Pye: Pickled Preserves!)

Lucilla:
Pickled preserves! One crock!
My only aim in life is but to please you,
A general store is just the place to meet the needs of the human race.

Matthew:
What I really came for, I really can’t say,
It’s more like — Oops!

(Dialogue)

All:
Our only aim in life is just to please you,
A General store is just the placec
To meet the needs of the human race

Lucilla:
Put down six and carry two,
Is there anything else I can do for you?

Dialogue

Matthew: Puffed Sleves!

Matthew:
Anne of Green Gables, never change, I like you just this way.
Anne of Green Gables, sweet and strange, stay as you are today.
Though blossoms fade and friends must part,
Old grow the songs we sung.
Anne of Green Gables, in my hearts, You are forever young.

Matthew:
The words! The words! The words!
Why won’t they come when I want them?
I’ve kept my peace since I was young,
For a boy is taught to hold his tongue,
But now, when I’m bustin’ to say my say
I just can’t seem to find the way

I can’t find the words,
Can ‘t get out the phrases.
Just when she needs love
I can’t sing her praises.
Where do the words go
When I am before her?
Oh, if I could show what I feel in my heart.
I’d implore her.
I adore her
I’d die for her
But I can’t find the words!

Gilbert, Diana and Josie:
We’ve sailed to North America to see
If there’s a land that’s fit for you and me
Diana: Can there be dry land quite near?
Josie: Here is an island, right here!
Gilbert: Never before have we seen such a land!
Josie, Diana, Gilbert: Was it ever grand!

All:
They call it
Prince Edward Island
The heart of the world
Set in the corssroads of the sea!
All of the nations have their banners unfurled,
Now that they know that this is the place to be!
Prince Edward Island
The heart of the world
Set in the corssroads of the sea!
All of the nations have their banners unfurled,
Now that they know that this is the place to be!
They call it … (dialogue)

Stationmaster:
When I found her she was waiting at the station door,
Didn’t have a tag describing just where she was headed for,
She’d have gone back C. O. D.
If it hadn’t been for me!

All:
If it hadn’t been for you,
If it hadn’t been for me,
If it hadn’t been for all of us
I wonder where she’d be?
Why we wouldn’t have had all this fuss
If it hadn’t been for us!

Mrs. Lynde:
Well, I took a liking to her from the very start!
She was so polite and bashful that she won my very heart!
And I’m glad that all those books
Haven’t spoiled the beauty of her looks!

All:
If it hadn’t been for you,
If it hadn’t been for me,
If it hadn’t been for all of us
I wonder where she’d be?
Why we wouldn’t have had all this fuss
If it hadn’t been for us!

Mr. Philips:
It was destiny that chose me
To cultivate this pearl,
By devoting my attention
To the needs of ev’ry girl.
For in the field of knowledge
When you plant a tiny seed,
The results can be tremendous,
Tremendous, yes indeed!

All:
If it hadn’t been for you,
If it hadn’t been for me,
If it hadn’t been for all of us
I wonder where she’d be?
Why we wouldn’t have had all this fuss
If it hadn’t been for us!

All:
If it hadn’t been for you
If it hadn’t been for me,
If it had’t been for —

Miss Stacy:
Anne
So if it hadn’t been for you,
If it hadn’t been for me,
I’ve a hunch she’d still have made it as the pride of Avonlea.

Gilbert:
She’s the girl at the head of the corwd
And I’m feeling mighty, mighty proud.

All:
Feeling mighty, mighty,
Oh so mighty, might,
Feeling mighty proud!

Marilla:
I can’t find the words,
Can ‘t get out the phrases.
Just when he needed love
Did I sing his praises?
Where do the words go
When I was before him?
Why couldn’t I show all the love that my heart felt toward him!
I adored him,
God reward him!
I can’t find the words.

All:
There is a golden summer waiting for you,
Spinning a dream by sunset, Till it comes true.

Gilbert:
Wond’rin’
All at once I’m wond’rin’
What it’s like to grow up
And have someone show up

All:
There is a golden summer waiting for you,
Spinning a dream by sunset, Till it comes true.